everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
