I want to walk on stilts...naked
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
