p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
