Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I am available for nakedness
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
