I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
