Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize