Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize