I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
