And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
