Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I will pee on everything he values.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
