I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
