I think im going to throw up on grandma
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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