never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
