He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
