the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
