you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
