So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
