We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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