Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There r osticjed everywhere
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
