At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
