just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
