OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
