i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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