your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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