There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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