where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
