Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You took a bar mat shot.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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