Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ayykayylee hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(716): View more from New York

Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?

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(636): View more from Missouri

I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public

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(209): View more from California

I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?

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(303): View more from Colorado

i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown

(217): View more from Illinois

And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing

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(843): View more from South Carolina

no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn

(803): View more from South Carolina

i'll bring the vodka

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