He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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