Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
