why do cheetos always look like penises
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
