I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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