eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
