Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
