The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
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