Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
