My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
