I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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