I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
