he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
