just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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