i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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