found the other keg... it's in the tree
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
do nipples grow back?
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