YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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