sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
