dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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