Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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