just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
