My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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