I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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