Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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