You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
