i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
