How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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