I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We have so much sex to catch up on
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
