I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
