Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
