Your mouth is God's brothel.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
