I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
