pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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