Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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