A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
