I heard we made out
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
