are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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