I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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