When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
