My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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